


Cigarettes and candy

by MademoiselleNoir



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer is Dean and Sam Winchester's Parent, Cas and his brothers are in foster care, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Protective of Sam Winchester, Dean was hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Fluff, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, It's 1994 btw, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Past Drug Addiction, Recreational Drug Use, SO, Stoner Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, Trust Issues, and, at first, but - Freeform, eventually, they all live in the same building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24756442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MademoiselleNoir/pseuds/MademoiselleNoir
Summary: Castiel had never imagined he would find a pair of eyes so enchanting and yet there he was, staring at Dean Winchester's green gaze as the young man asked if this was where Bobby Singer lived.The thing is, both Dean and Castiel have their pasts, and sometimes they catch up with us before we’re ready for them.
Relationships: Balthazar & Castiel (Supernatural), Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Claire Novak, Castiel & Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, Ellen Harvelle & Jo Harvelle, Jo Harvelle & Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	1. The arrival of a new neighbor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my first long fic for this fandom, but this story has been up in my head for a while now and its time to let it out.

**September, 1994 **

Castiel Novak didn’t particularly care for his last name.

It had been given to him by a father who hadn’t cared enough to stay, and so he wasn’t very fond of it. He’d much rather have carried his mother’s last name, but that wasn’t possible, because she was dead and Castiel didn’t actually know what it had been.

So he was Castiel Novak, youngest son of Charles Novak, and younger brother of Michael, Luke and Gabriel Novak. When Charles bolted, Michael had been six, Luke had been three, Gabriel had been two and Castiel had been a baby.

Child Protection Services swooped in in the blink of an eye and they had been thrusted from foster home to foster home until they’d landed in Ellen Harvelle’s madhouse.

To find her home, one had to go into the depths of San Francisco and look for a house in a narrow, wooded walk-way off the main street. To reach it, one had to climb wooden stairs and cross a threshold made of ivy and walk the stone path until they reached the three story structure made of what seemed to be wood but wasn’t. Ellen owned the first two floors, and she had managed to persuade her neighbors to let her put colorful lights all over the shared patio between the ivy threshold and the house, making it look like a rainbow garden at night. 

She lived on the first floor with her daughter Jo, and she had put Michael in the spare room at her house for the year he’d stayed there before going off to college—full ride baby—, and then Luke had moved in, leaving Castiel and Gabriel alone on the second floor—was it questionable to leave a fourteen year old and a twelve year old alone in an apartment? Perhaps, but it had been fun. When Luke left to move in with a few of his friends in San Diego, Ellen had already taken in a new stray, a kid Castiel’s age with a British accent named Balthazar. 

For the first year Castiel had stayed with Ellen, the third floor had been empty, but then Jody and Donna had moved in with their adopted daughter Claire—Jody’s niece—, who’d been five at the time. She had blond, wavy hair and liked to knock on Castiel and Gabriel’s door to talk to them about music and dinosaurs. 

The fourth apartment, right on top of Castiel’s, belonged to a grumpy old man who seemed to be made of beard and baseball caps. He sneered at the teenagers any time he saw them, but he was always around to help his neighbors. He was a mechanic, and his name was Bobby Singer. Castiel found he liked the man, albeit reluctantly. He was usually weary of older men.

The summer of 1994, when Castiel turned seventeen, Sam Winchester arrived at the Madhouse to live with Bobby. He was thirteen, and too smart for his own good. Castiel liked him almost immediately. Bobby’s only explanation regarding his presence was a grunt and a “wait until you meet the other one”.

Castiel hadn’t paid those words much mind, until he began hanging out with Sam—the kid knew a lot about literature, and he and Castiel took to sitting on Ellen’s lawn chairs outside and discussing it. Sam told him about his brother then. 

Dean, who was Castiel’s age, was working a summer job, according to Sam, but he would come live with them before classes began. Sam spoke of Dean like one spoke of a hero, or a father. Sam never mentioned his father.

“He’s super good with cars, and Bobby put him up with his pal Rufus ‘cause he pays more than him, so Dean can have some money to have fun when he’s here”, Sam would say, closing his eyes and facing the sun. “Knowing Dean, though, he’ll probably spend it in like a month taking out girls. He’s really good with them, you know? They just like him”.

Sam didn’t have a picture with him, because most of their things would arrive when Dean did, and Castiel didn’t ask if his brother was handsome and that was why girls “just liked him”. He would see his theory confirmed or denied when he arrived, Castiel thought.

By August, Castiel had worked out the nerve to ask Sam why they were moving in with Bobby. The kid’s face had gone sour all of a sudden, but he had answered before Castiel could change the subject.

“Dad hasn’t been doin’ so hot ever since Mom died”, the kid said. “Bobby’s practically our uncle, so when he learnt how bad it really was, he called CPS and managed to get custody”.

Sam had left it there, and that had been it.

Castiel certainly didn’t ask again.

Their life went by peacefully, as Sam and Castiel discussed their things, Balthazar got drunk and pissed off Ellen, and Claire taught them how to play baseball properly. They even managed to get Castiel to join, even though he wasn’t overly fond of sports. He’d much rather stay in and smoke some pot. Gabriel took to sitting on the patio with Sam and Castiel while he planned his next prank—Castiel did _not_ enjoy those, by the way—or sucked on his lollipop.

Classes began in October, so Castiel was very surprised when Sam announced his brother’s arrival on September 14th.

“Dean says Rufus kicked him out ‘cause he wouldn’t stop babbling about me!” the kid screamed, and Castiel thought that if he had a little brother like Sam, he would talk about him nonstop as well. 

“I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you”, Donna said, as they all sat down in their mega table in the patio to have a communal dinner.

“Yeah, Samsquatch, you’re a darling”, Gabriel mocked, and Sam bitchfaced in his general direction.

“I hope your brother’s handsome”, Balthazar said from his seat beside Castiel’s. “It’ll be nice to have another pretty face around”, he turned to Castiel. “Not that yours ever gets old, Cassie dear”.

Castiel smirked at him and threw a carrot to his nice white shirt. Jo snorted and Claire laughed as Balthazar ran away to get changed and clean the shirt before the stain was irremovable.

“You’re evil, baby brother”, Gabriel mocked, and Castiel shrugged.

“He’s too fancy for a foster care kid anyway”, he answered, and Gabriel laughed once again.

“Watch your mouth, boy”, Ellen warned, and Castiel lifted his hands in mock surrender.

“I didn’t even swear!”, he excused himself, and Ellen waved a spoon threateningly before his eyes.

“We don’t judge people here”, she said, and Castiel put his hands down.

“I know”, he answered, and Ellen seemed to be satisfied with that, because she went back to stirring her stew. They began eating, and the matter of Dean Winchester was forgotten up until the moment the man showed up.

The afternoon was warm and lazy on September 14th, and so Sam, Gabriel, Balthazar and Claire had gone on a walk while Ellen, Jo and Bobby stayed in to sleep. Castiel had chosen to stay out on the patio, shirtless, tanning under the sun with his eyes closed.

He didn’t hear anyone approaching him, but he did hear—and was startled by—the deep voice that said:

“Hey, man”.

Castiel opened his eyes and looked at the place where the voice came from. The greenest of eyes looked back at him, and he almost had to do a double take to comprehend what he was seeing.

He was gorgeous.

Freckles covered his nose and cheeks, surrounding those eyes, and light brown hair framed the features of a Greek god—defined jaw, chiseled nose and pouty lips. He was very pretty. He was also tall, a bit taller than Castiel, probably, and he had the muscles of a guy who liked to play sports and work out. 

If Castiel hadn’t already known that he was attracted to men, one look at Dean Winchester would have made it clear.

Realizing he’d been staring, and that the man was still waiting for an answer, Castiel gathered his thoughts and pushed his attraction back into the closet and said:

“Can I help you?”

He smiled, and Castiel had to try really hard to not drool. It had to be illegal to be that handsome.

“I think you might be able to, yeah”, the man said, still smiling. “I’m looking for Bobby Singer”.

Castiel had already pretty much known who the man standing in front of him was, but it was nice to have confirmation, and Hell to imagine this gift from God to humankind living right above him.

He stood up and offered his hand out to Dean.

“You’re Dean, right?”, he asked. Dean smiled—again. Who knew someone could smile this much?—and shook his hand.

“I am”, he said.

“I’m Castiel”, Castiel said. “Sam told me about you. He’s off to a walk with my brother and the rest of the kids”, he added when he saw Dean perk up at the mention of his brother.

Dean chuckled and shook his head, letting go of Castiel’s hand—what a pity—and looking back at the stairs.

“Sounds like him. Gone just when I need him”, he joked, and Castiel chuckled. Dean looked back at him, appearing surprised for some reason.

“Do you need help unloading?”, Castiel asked, and Dean nodded.

“Could use some”, he answered. “The old man home?”

“He’s napping”.

Dean laughed again at that, and Castiel found that he really liked the sound, which was a good thing, because there were plenty of hot guys with truly dreadful laughs.

He followed Dean out to his “baby”, which was a 1967 Chevy Impala, and they made several trips up the wooden stairs to get all of the brothers’ things to the patio. Just then, Ellen came out, looking at Dean like she looked at every kid under her roof—like a mother hen.

“You John Winchester’s other boy?”, she asked.

Not many people would’ve caught Dean’s slight flinch at the mention of his father’s name, but Castiel was familiar enough with trauma to notice. Interesting, he thought.

“Yes, ma’am”, Dean answered. Ellen nodded to herself and smiled.

“I’m Ellen Harvelle. I knew your Daddy back when he lived ‘round here”, she said. “Now come on, let’s wake the old bear up”.

Dean nodded and smiled, and Castiel followed him up the stairs, carrying three bags with him.

He did not stare at Dean’s ass.

Not at all.

This is the house they live in btw

**<https://giphy.com/gifs/acorn-tv-talesofthecity-armisteadmaupin-netflix-acorntv-acorn-tv-sanfrancisco-Q4mavklSSKgtXroYbH> **


	2. Keep your dealer away from my brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, chapter 2.  
> Enjoy.

Castiel had never seen Bobby look so… not pissed off.  
He hugged Dean like he hadn’t seen him in ages, and Dean let himself be hugged, but didn’t lean on the old man. Castiel went back downstairs to get more bags just when the others got back from their walk.  
Sam took one look at the bags and smiled so wide that Castiel feared he would break his face in half.  
“Dean!”, the kid screamed, and he was sprinting up the stairs to get to his brother. Castiel heard a curse and looked up to see Dean on the floor before Bobby’s door, his baby brother clinging to him. Castiel smiled to himself and walked up the stairs in time to see Dean’s smile when he hugged Sam back.  
“Hey, bitch”, he said, and Sam snorted against his shoulder before letting go and getting up.  
“Hi, jerk”, the kid answered, and Castiel smiled at them before going around them and into Bobby’s house to find a place to dump the bags.  
By the time he came back out, Jo had also gotten up and was measuring Dean up. Claire was standing right beside her, looking as threatening as a ten year old could look, and Balthazar and Gabriel were laughing their asses off a few steps down the stairs.  
“So”, Jo began. “You’re Dean”.  
Castiel had a view of Dean’s broad back when the man laughed.  
“Sure am”, he answered. Castiel pushed him aside gently to come out of the house and lean against the wall to watch the show. Dean was smiling in that friendly way he had, and Castiel could almost see Jo melting.  
“You won’t bring any trouble, will you?”, she asked nonetheless, and Castiel had to chuckle at Dean’s shell-shocked expression.  
“If anyone brings trouble”, he began, taking pity on him, “it’ll be Baz”.  
Gabriel laughed at that while Balthazar kindly told Castiel to fuck off.  
“Language”, Ellen warned, choosing that moment to walk in. “Or do you wanna be the one tellin’ Jody and Donna why their baby curses like a sailor?”  
Balthazar flinched.  
“That’s Cassie’s influence”, he protested.  
Castiel stared at his foster brother with lazy amusement.  
“You say that, but you have no proof”, he answered.  
“Yeah, ‘cause you ain’t stupid enough to swear in front of the grown-ups”, Ellen cajoled, and Castiel laughed softly. He could feel Dean’s eyes on him, and he turned to look at him.  
“What?”, he asked.  
Dean shook his head and looked at his brother.  
“Are they always like this?”, he asked, amusement dripping from his voice like it was honey.  
Sam nodded and smirked, and his brother messed his hair up. Sam batted his hand away and ran into the house, but Castiel didn’t miss the look of complete adoration he threw his brother’s way.  
“Now”, Ellen cut in. “Who wants to help me make dinner while Dean here gets settled?”

A few days later, Castiel’s favorite dealer, Crowley, paid him a visit for their usual business. As always, Castiel met him outside of the house, in the corner of the main street. Of course, Dean chose that exact moment to step out of his car.  
From what Castiel had gathered in their communal meals and time spent in the patio, Dean seemed to be a friendly, easygoing guy. A bit emotionally numb, but that was to be expected from a straight guy from Kansas. Castiel also hadn’t been able to ascertain much regarding Dean’s intelligence. He didn’t seem to consider himself very bright, but Castiel found his remarks genuinely hilarious and clever.  
Now, however, as he watched Castiel, his eyes were anything but friendly. Castiel didn’t know whether he found it intimidating or hot.  
By the time he climbed the stairs and entered the patio, Dean was waiting for him, leaning on the side of Ellen’s wall. He gestured for Castiel to follow and headed off to the shed where Bobby kept most of his tools. Castiel followed him and found himself pushed against the wall the second he walked in.  
“Fuck”, he muttered as he got his breath knocked right out of him. When he looked into Dean’s eyes, he found no trace of their usual friendliness. They were all fire and anger. Castiel was tempted to curse again. Hot. Definitely hot.  
“Keep your fucking drug dealer away from my brother”, Dean spat out, and Castiel rose an eyebrow. Oh.  
“Crowley is not violent”, he said. “He’s an entrepreneur; doesn’t work for anyone. He’s not dangerous”.  
Dean looked him up and down, and finally seemed to decide that he was telling the truth. He stepped away, and Castiel rubbed the place in his chest where the man’s arm had hit him.  
“Meet him somewhere else”, Dean said.   
Castiel rose an eyebrow at the order and the tone it was given in, but he decided to avoid conflict and simply nodded.  
“Sure. No problem”, he finally said. Seeing how Dean still looked tense, he chuckled and added: “If you ever need to relax, you can come to my place and smoke some with me”.  
Dean glared at him and Castiel laughed and held his hands up in mock defeat.  
“I don’t do drugs”, Dean said, his tone still stained by anger.  
“It’s just weed”, Castiel explained. “I also have cigarettes, if you prefer them”.  
Dean stared at him for a few seconds before chuckling softly and asking, an amused glint in his eyes:  
“Who says ‘cigarette’ anymore?”  
Castiel tilted his head to the side and smirked.  
“Oasis”, he answered, and began singing the band’s song. The album had just come out, and he already knew the lyrics to almost every song.  
Dean shook his head and turned to leave. Castiel followed, still humming, and put his arm around Dean’s shoulders.  
“You need to learn how to relax, Winchester”, he mocked, and Dean shrugged his arm off and stared at him.  
“Sure I do, Cas”, he answered.

“What kind of a freak are you?”, Gabriel was asking Sam a few weeks later as they sat together under the sun. Castiel was watching them and smoking, sitting on the floor before his door, legs dangling over the edge. He agreed with his brother on this one. Sam was doing Math exercises before the term even began.  
“I just like to be prepared”, he was justifying himself with. Gabriel shook his head and stole the book from under Sam’s nose, running away with it into Ellen’s house, probably to hide it with Balthazar.  
Sam huffed and followed, and Castiel smiled to himself. He heard a laugh from above and knew that Dean was watching.  
“Your brother is a nerd”, Castiel said, loud enough for the other to hear. Dean looked down over the edge of his railing.  
“Shut up”, he spat, and Castiel laughed. “He’s acting like a kid his age for once”.  
Castiel shook his head and put out his cigarette.  
“Everyone has to act like a twelve year old in front of Gabriel. It’s the only way to communicate with him”.  
Dean smiled down at him, causing Castiel’s heart to do a backflip, and then went back inside Bobby’s house. Castiel shook his head and got up to shut himself into his own room. Crushing on Dean Winchester was not good for one’s health.  
Gabriel waltzed in about an hour later, holding Sam’s Math book under his arm and smiling like the Cheshire cat. Castiel smiled at him.  
“You should give that back”, he said. “We don’t want the kid to end up like you”.  
Gabriel took a hand to his chest in an exaggerated parody of offense and gasped.  
“Oh, please!”, he answered. “I’m an role model for people of all ages”.  
Castiel chuckled.  
“Sure”, he shot back. “And when are you moving out again?”  
“Nah, baby brother, you’d miss me too much”, Gabriel answered, and then went to hide in his room before Castiel could answer. Coward.

Luke showed up with Michael to visit them a few days later, with a guitar, and Claire and Sam nearly fell on their asses asking him to play their favorite songs. How Luke remembered all of them, Castiel would never know. Balthazar sat down next to Luke and hummed, and soon they had a concert going, all of them—except for Michael and the adults—, sitting on a circle and singing.  
And then Dean joined in.  
His voice had always sounded a bit like honey to Cas, sweet and deep, but the way it sounded when Dean sang made him fall in love with it.  
Dean’s voice was like velvet, a bit ruff and deep, but so full of feeling that Castiel couldn’t keep his eyes away from the man until the song ended.  
“Wow”, Gabriel said, and Dean looked around, appearing way too embarrassed for someone with the talent he’d shown. “You didn’t tell us you could sing, Deano”.  
“‘Cause I can’t”, Dean shrugged, and they all fell silent.  
“You have a beautiful voice, Dean”, Castiel said, and Dean looked his way and blushed slightly. Castiel wondered how far down his chest that blush would spread.  
“Thanks”, Dean answered, and Luke moved onto another song.  
Castiel should’ve known that the peace wouldn’t last. Michael waited until they were all sitting down at the communal table—Sam and Claire had had to take out another smaller table since Luke and Michael took their seats—before he asked about Castiel’s love life.  
“So, are you seeing anyone?”, Michael chose to ask. “I remember you mentioned a girl named… Meg?”  
Castiel sighed. Most of the time, he had the patience to deal with his brother. Today, though, he’d been having a very good day and didn’t want to.  
“Meg is my best friend”, he explained to Dean and Sam. Dean, who’d stopped smiling for a second, smiled again. Castiel smirked back before looking at his brother again. “And you know I’m not attracted to women, Michael”.  
Silence fell over the table. Balthazar, Luke, Gabriel, Ellen, Jo, Donna, Jody and Claire already knew, since he’d come out the second he’d realized he was attracted to men, so Castiel watched Sam, Dean and Bobby for a reaction. Sam didn’t seem to care, as he smiled at Castiel, and Bobby paused for a moment before going back to his mashed potatoes. Dean stared at Castiel, eyes wide and cheeks slightly flushed.  
Satisfied with that reaction, for now at least, Castiel stared back at his brother.  
“Castiel”, he began. “I truly don’t understand why you’re still saying that. It’s just a phase you’ll grow out of the moment you meet a nice girl and start dating her”.  
“Sure wasn’t a phase for me and Jody”, Donna decided to cut in with then. Michael barely looked at her.  
“Castiel, you must understand the doors you’ll be closing for yourself with this choice”, he continued, and Castiel braced himself for the sermon he knew was coming.  
“Not a choice”, Gabriel defended, and Luke and Jo nodded. Castiel smiled at them.  
Michael frowned.  
“How can you support this behavior?”, he asked. “He’s—”  
“That’s enough”, Ellen interrupted. Michael looked at her. “You have two choices here, boy. You either keep quiet and respect your brother, or you get the Hell out of here with your homophobia”.  
“Yeah”, Balthazar said, and then he smirked. “You come off as obnoxious enough without the bigotry”.  
Michael opened his mouth, clearly offended, but a look from Ellen was enough to shut him up.   
“It’s your funeral”, he said, and Castiel had to be content with that.  
He was smoking his last cigarette before bed, hours later, perched on his window, when a voice came from directly above him:  
“Your brother’s a bit of a dick”.  
Castiel looked up and saw Dean staring down at him from his own window. He smiled.  
“Takes after my father”, he answered, and Dean snorted. “You seemed a bit put out yourself”.  
He said that because, if Dean truly had a problem with his sexuality, it was better to get it out in the open now rather than later. He didn’t seem to care, since he got along with Jody and Donna just fine, but he’d met people who didn’t mind lesbians and hated gay men before.  
“What?”, Dean asked, eyes widening. “No, that’s not it. I was a bit shocked, that’s all”.  
Castiel nodded. He could deal with shocked.  
“Well, that’s good”, he said, and then, for some reason: “How about you?”  
“Me?”, Dean asked, and Castiel nodded. Dean seemed to think about his answer. “I’ve only dated girls before”.  
Castiel smirked.  
“What a fine diplomatic answer. I was asking if you’re attracted to men”, he clarified, and he could see a faint blush in Dean’s cheeks. It was adorable.  
“You’re very forward, aren’t you?”, Dean asked, and Castiel shrugged. He found life to be easier if one simply asked for what one wanted.   
He was about to put out his smoke and say good night when Dean finally answered:  
“Yeah, I am”.  
By the time Castiel looked up again, Dean had already closed the window behind him. Cas smiled to himself and put out the cigarette.  
This man was going to be the death of him.


	3. Drug virginity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the third chapter.  
> Comments are always welcome and a true source of inspiration.

A few days before school began, Castiel was coming back from his latest meeting with Crowley when he heard Dean’s voice coming from the same place where he’d dragged Castiel to that last time. Curiosity took over and he approached it with the intention of asking Dean about his bizarre masturbation habits—just a joke, people—.

“Yeah, he’s good”, he heard Dean say, and it took him a moment to realize he was speaking on a mobile phone. Castiel knew Dean had one, he’d just never seen him use it. Castiel was about to leave the man to his conversation when he heard a sound that sounded a lot like a sob.

“Because I can’t, Dad”, Dean said.

Castiel knew he should walk away, but Dean sounded very upset and something in him compelled him to stay. Castiel didn’t have the heart to leave anyone like that on their own.

“It’s so good here”, Dean kept going. “Bobby’s neighbors are awesome and Sam is enjoying himself and acting like he’s thirteen for the first time in forever. You could come vis—” a silence as whoever Dean was talking to interrupted him, and then: “You know I had to. You _know_. It was the best thing for him”.

Another silence.

“I know I am”, Dean said then, quietly. “I know exactly what I am, Dad, and that’s why I couldn’t let Sammy become me”.

Another silence, and Castiel didn’t realize that Dean had hung up until the man stepped out of the shed and stared him down. All Castiel could do was stare back and ask:

“What are you?”

Dean’s eyes widened, and he seemed upset for a few seconds before he snorted. Castiel didn’t believe his amusement was genuine, though.

“Not an eavesdropper, that’s for damn sure”, Dean answered, and took off towards the main building. Cas followed.

“You sounded upset”, he explained. “I wanted to see if you were all right”.

Dean looked back at him, raising an eyebrow, but he was satisfied with whatever he found in Castiel’s eyes, because his shoulders relaxed.

“My Dad…”, he began, and then hesitated. He looked around to make sure they were alone before continuing: “He doesn’t like that I called Bobby and took Sammy away from him”.

He said it like he was an adult that had ripped his brother from his father, and not a kid himself. Like his loss hadn’t affected his father at all. 

Castiel could feel his eyes widening. Dean looked down, clearly embarrassed and mildly repentant about what he had done. Castiel couldn’t understand why, or why it was so easy for him to read Dean.

“That was…”, Castiel began. “That was very brave of you, Dean”.

Dean laughed, a humorless, self-deprecating thing that had Castiel’s hackles rising.

“It was”, he insisted. “Not many people are brave enough to recognize their parents’ shitty behavior”.

Dean looked up and searched his eyes. Apparently, he believed him this time around, because he relaxed a bit. He stayed quiet for a few seconds, and then he asked:

“Does your offer still stand?”

It took Castiel a few breaths to realize what Dean was referring to. The offer he’d made weeks ago, to smoke pot with Dean. He smirked.

“I thought you didn’t do drugs”, he said. Dean shrugged.

“I’ll try anything once”.

Castiel nodded, and they went up to his room.

“Where’s Sam?”, Castiel asked, because he knew Dean would never leave his brother unattended.

“He’s out with Bobby”, Dean answered instantly, and Castiel almost smiled. “They’re nerding out in a bookstore somewhere, so they won’t be back for a while”.

He said it like he didn’t understand the feeling, but Castiel had seen him read through a weathered copy of Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse Five too many times to buy that.

Castiel took out the pot he’d just bought from Crowley and began rolling himself a joint. He’d share with Dean, since this would be his first time getting high. Dean watched him, eyes filled with curiosity.

“How long have you…?”, he asked, gesturing to Castiel’s hands. Castiel smirked.

“A few years”, he answered, and when Dean’s eyes widened, he added: “I used to do worse when we were living with Metatron, though. He’d let Gabe and I into his cocaine stash. Michael found us like that one day and called CPS, and that’s how we ended up with Ellen”.

Dean’s eyes widened, and Castiel shrugged. He wasn’t bitter about his past anymore, and he wanted to make Dean feel less guilty about talking about his Dad.

“Sorry”, Dean said, and Castiel waved him off.

“I’m good now”, he answered. “Took me a while to get clean, though. Ellen helped. Therapy did, too”.

Dean stared at him incredulously.

“You go to therapy?”, he asked, but there was none of the judgement Castiel usually found attached to that question, so he simply nodded and left it there.

When he was done with the joint, he lit it up and took the first puff. He passed it to Dean after the second one, enjoying the way he coughed, unaccustomed to smoking.

“You’re a dick”, Dean said, but he took another drag and passed it back to Castiel.

“Sure, Green”, Castiel answered after his puffs, smirking.

They passed it back and forward until they finished it, and then they sat back in Castiel’s bean bag chairs to let the high settle. Castiel seized the chance to stare at Dean and marvel at his long eyelashes, as Dean closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

“Man, this is weird”, Dean said then, and Castiel snorted.

“That’s one way to put it”, he answered. “How’s your first high?”

Dean smiled to himself before answering:

“I’m never doing this again”, and then, when Castiel laughed: “Dude, don’t laugh. You’re taking my drug virginity. It’s not nice to laugh when you’re deflowering someone”.

Castiel laughed even louder at that. 

“Your drug virginity?”, he mocked. “Really?”

Dean lifted a hand without opening his eyes and snorted.

“The only one left”, he muttered, and Castiel froze. What did _that_ mean?

Dean opened his eyes, having clearly forgotten what he’d just said, and managed to get up and walk up to Castiel’s bed. His covers had caught Dean’s attention, apparently. Dean stared and touched the flowers, and he smiled.

“What?”, Castiel asked.

“Cas, dude, did you choose these?”

“No. Ellen did. Do you like them?”

Dean turned to look at him and smiled bright enough to make the sun want to retire. He went back to the bean bag chair, but passed it and sat down on the floor next to Castiel.

“They’re nice”, he said, and then began laughing again. “Isn’t it funny that the covers are full of flowers in the room where you’re de _flower_ ing me?”

For some reason, the both of them found that notion hilarious, and they began roaring their asses off with laughter. Dean finally stopped laughing and let his head fall on Castiel’s lap, still smiling. Castiel didn’t even think about it, high as he was, and started playing with Dean’s hair.

“Your hair is yellow like corn”, he commented.

“Yeah? Well, your eyes are blue like cornflowers”, Dean answered, and they started laughing again. Then, Castiel thought of his words again and took offense.

“Hey. My eyes are blue like the sky, not cornflowers”, he debated.

Dean frowned and got back up, taking Castiel’s face in his hands and looking at his eyes. They were very close, and Castiel’s heart suddenly went mad. Dean licked his lips as he studied Castiel’s eyes, so naturally, Castiel looked down. High as he was, he had no filter, so he said:

“You have pretty lips”.

Dean snorted and then blushed, letting go of Cas’s face and going back to his previous position.

“Thanks”, he whispered, and Castiel put his hands back on his hair. “And you’re right”.

“Right about what?”, Castiel asked, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back. He felt very lazy, and he was enjoying Dean’s company a lot.

“Your eyes _are_ blue like the sky”, Dean said. “But also a bit darker, like sapphires”.

Castiel chuckled softly at that, and Dean imitated him. They stayed unmoving for a while, and Castiel realized that Dean had fallen asleep when he heard soft snores coming from him. He still caressed his hair, though.

There was something incredibly vulnerable about Dean, Castiel pondered, even as he hid himself behind walls of bravado. That was probably what attracted Castiel, besides the man’s physical appearance. He was honest and really loved his brother. Hell, he’d probably called CPS on his own Dad to protect Sam. Castiel wondered what had triggered a man as deeply devoted to family as Dean seemed to be into turning on his father—Castiel didn’t believe that what Dean did was betrayal, of course, but Dean himself probably did.

They were still like that, Dean asleep on his lap, when Gabriel walked in.

“Did you steal my lollipop?”, his brother asked, and Castiel shushed him and pointed to Dean. Gabriel snorted.

“Is he high?”, he asked. When Castiel nodded, he laughed again. “You corrupted him”.

Castiel smirked.

“I didn’t take your lollipop, assbut”, he answered. “Now go before you wake him up”.

Gabriel laughed at him. Of course, he’d picked up on Castiel’s crush instantly.

“We can’t have that”, he mocked, and left before Castiel could spit at him.

Dean opened his eyes about half an hour later, and Castiel could tell by his pupils that he was still a bit off. He got up and Castiel followed, smiling at Dean’s growing distress.

“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you like that, man”, he said. “You should’ve woken me up”.

Castiel shook his head and waved off his concern.

“No problem. I was comfortable”, he answered, and he changed the subject before Dean could apologize again: “You hungry?”

Dean’s eyes widened, like he was just realizing how hungry he actually was, and he nodded. Castiel smiled at him and led the way towards the kitchen, where Gabriel always kept junk food of all kinds. Dean took a bag of chips and Castiel chose a chocolate bar, and they sat down on the kitchen counter.

“How do you feel?”, Castiel asked after a moment of silence. Dean looked at him and smiled.

“Relaxed”, he said, and ate a chip. “And still a bit high”.

“It’ll fade”, Castiel assured him. “So, what do you think of pot now?”

Dean shrugged and looked through the window in front of them.

“S’nice”, he said. “I don’t think I’ll do it again, though”.

Castiel wanted to ask why, and to tell him that he had looked gorgeous while high off his mind, but he didn’t.

“Well, you can come hang out anyway”, he offered, and Dean seemed startled at that. Castiel guessed he didn’t have many friends back home. “I’ll have pot and cigarettes, and you can eat all of Gabriel’s junk food”.

Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, and then Sammy’ll have to roll me down the stairs”, he said.

“Of course not”, Castiel answered, absolutely serious, and when Dean frowned at him, he added: “We’ll just throw you out of the window and watch as you bounce up and down”.

Dean snorted, and then he clicked his tongue and pushed Castiel with his entire body.

“You’re an asshole”, he said.

“Sure, Green”, Castiel answered, tone mocking.

He didn’t miss the way Dean started at the word, but then his eyes filled with warmth and Castiel felt safe assuming he liked the nickname. Seemed fitting, given the color of his eyes. Speaking of…

“Your eyes will get red”, he warned after a new, comfortable silence. “So watch out for that, and don’t look anyone in the eye unless you want Ellen to tell you off”.

Dean grinned.

“The true dangers of smoking pot”, he joked, and Castiel simply had to laugh.

“You mock her now, but wait until you fuck up and she starts giving it to you”, he answered. Dean shook his head and smiled, and then something in his face fell and he was looking away.

Castiel could feel himself frowning.

“What is it?”, he asked.

Dean shook his head, and Castiel let the matter drop.

“Are you going to come down to dinner?”, he asked instead. Dean looked back at him and smiled timidly before answering:

“I don’t think so. Sammy will know something is up and he will not leave me alone until he figures out what it is”.

Castiel smiled back.

“The kid’s persistent”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas' drugged conversation is based on conversations I've witnessed. This is not relevant to the story, but it's important to me that you know it.


	4. New and old friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I'm not having a lot of success I'll keep posting unless I become too dispirited.   
> I really want to tell this story.

Classes started on October 15th.

Castiel woke up to his brother’s excited yammering. Gabriel had decided to wake him up by yelling years ago, after several incidents in which Castiel woke up startled and punched him in the face.

So his brother walked into his room and began screaming:

“Wakey, wakey, Cassie dear!”, and when Castiel opened his eyes: “Time to go pester Mr. Walker!”

Castiel growled. He hated Mr. Walker.

“Don’t remind me”, he spot back, getting up slowly. Gabriel laughed in his face.

“We can’t break the family tradition of making him want to kill us”, he said.

“Or himself”, Castiel added, going to his closet to take out his Metallica t-shirt—stolen from Luke—and his black pants. He paired it with a denim jacket and walked out of his house. Most people preferred showering in the morning, but Castiel usually did it in the afternoon, so he could go to bed feeling clean.

He went down to Ellen’s for breakfast and stole Jo’s apple seconds before she bit into it.

“Ass”, she said, with no heat behind it, and Castiel smiled at her before sitting down and taking a toast from Balthazar’s plate.

“You’re a freeloader”, Balthazar said, unimpressed. Castiel smirked.

“I’ve been living here longer than you”, he answered, and Balthazar bit into his own toast before glaring at him and speaking again:

“Yes, but Ellen likes me best, don’t you, mother dear?”

Ellen gave him a stern look from behind her coffee mug and clicked her tongue.

“We all know Claire’s my favorite”, she answered, and Balthazar put a hand on his chest, pretending to be deeply injured.

They left fifteen minutes later, meeting the Winchester siblings outside Ellen’s door. Dean smiled and messed up Jo’s hair, and she punched his arm, while Balthazar snickered and Sam rolled his eyes at the buffoonery he was witnessing.

Castiel watched Dean immediately befriend a redheaded girl in their class, and smiled to himself. Of course, Dean would make friends instantly. 

Beside him, Meg chuckled and elbowed him.

“So who’s the guy who’s got you making heart eyes?”, she asked, and Castiel smirked at her.

“Dean Winchester”, he answered. “He and his brother moved in with the old man who lives above me”.

Meg frowned.

“The mechanic guy?”, she asked, and Castiel nodded. “Never took _him_ for a family man”.

Castiel shrugged.

“He isn’t”, he said. “They’re not his kids. They just live with him”.

Meg smiled and shook her head, probably guessing that there was more to that story, but knowing better than to ask Castiel to spill someone else’s secrets.

“He’s not my type, but I’ll admit he’s pretty”, she said instead, and Castiel laughed. Not her type? She was clearly visually challenged. Dean Winchester was everyone’s type.

Just then, Dean pointed him out to his new redhead friend, and she chuckled. Castiel smiled and waved, and Meg laughed at him.

“You got a crush, huh?”, she mocked, and he shrugged.

“I guess I do”, he admitted. “But who wouldn’t?”

Meg shook her head in mock disapproval as Castiel got up and walked towards Dean. Meg followed, her usual mocking expression glued to her face, and they both sat down before Dean and his new friend.

“Dean, this is Meg”, Castiel introduced. “I mentioned her before, remember?”

Well, truth to be told, Michael had, but it made no difference in this context. Dean nodded and smiled and Meg, and she seemed slightly charmed, which was saying a lot when it came to Meg.

“This is Charlie”, Dean said then, pointing at the redhead. “Well, I guess you already know her”.

Castiel smiled sweetly at her and held out his hand.

“We hadn’t been properly introduced”, he said. “I’m Castiel”.

Charlie took his hand and smiled back, a friendly, open thing Castiel didn’t know how to interpret. Was she interested in Dean?

“Charlie Bradbury”, she said, shaking his hand. “You’re Balthazar’s brother, right?”

Castiel cringed and then chuckled.

“Foster brother”, he corrected. “Do you know him?”

Charlie shrugged.

“He’s friends with my ex-girlfriend”, she explained, and Castiel felt his eyebrow rise. Interesting. So she wasn’t interested in Dean. Well, unless she was bisexual.

“Balthazar has a lot of friends”, he said, and Dean chuckled. Castiel looked at him and found him staring, eyebrow up in the air. “Yes, I wonder how he manages it myself, with the amount of annoyance his mere presence can muster”.

“He’s not that bad”, Meg defended, and they all looked at her. She raised her hands in surrender and smiled. “I mean, Gabriel’s worse”.

Castiel shook his hand sagely.

“No one is worse than Gabriel”.

“Debatable”, Dean cut in. “You should see my brother when he’s trying to annoy me into eating a salad”.

“Well, the kid’s persistent”, Castiel answered, repeating his words from a few nights before, and Dean laughed.

“He’s a health nut, that’s what he is”, Dean said.

A man was waiting for them when they came out of the building. He was tall, burly and had a beard, even though he couldn’t be a day over twenty. His blue eyes searched the crowd and he smiled when he spotted Dean, which made Castiel instantly curious. Since they still hadn’t seen Balthazar, Jo, or Sam, and Meg and Charlie had disappeared to go home, Castiel had the time to stand back and watch them interact.

“Hey, brother”, the tall man said, in a deep, Louisiana drawl, and Castiel could almost feel the change in Dean’s stance when he saw him.

“Benny”, he whispered at first, and then he repeated the name, louder this time, and rushed towards the man. They hugged, and Dean gave him the widest of his smiles, the one he usually saved for Sam.

“What are you doing here?”, Dean asked, all good spirits and smiles, and Castiel’s heart jumped at the pure joy he was witnessing. 

The man—Benny—scratched the back of his head and smiled down at Dean.

“I came to see how you’re doing, of course. Couldn’t just let you disappear, now, could I?”

Dean shook his head, and looked doubtful for a second before happiness took over his face again. He put an arm around Benny’s shoulders.

“How did you even know where to find me, man?”, he asked, and Benny shrugged.

“Asked the ol’ man”, was his answer. “He remembered me from that time we met at the hospital. Can you even believe that?”

Dean looked back at Castiel when the hospital was mentioned, and then back at his friend.

“Yeah, ‘course I do. Bobby won’t forget that day anytime soon”, he said, and then gestured for Castiel to approach them. Once he did, he pointed at him and said: “Benny, this is Cas. He lives on the second apartment”, he explained, and then, to Castiel: “Cas, this is my friend Benny from back home”.

Benny shook Castiel’s hands, a friendly glow to his eyes and his smile, and Castiel decided that he liked him immediately.

“Nice to meet ya, man”, Benny said. Then, he turned to Dean. “So, where’s the squirt?”

Just as he was asking, a yell made its way through the crowd and to them.

“Benny!”, Sam screamed as he ran out of the building and into the older man’s arms. Benny lifted him up and span once before letting the kid fall back to the ground.

“Hey, kid”, he said, and Sam smiled up at him.

Castiel saw Dean glance in Benny’s direction and wondered about the relationship between them. Benny was a bit too old to be with Dean, but Castiel didn’t usually judge, so he shrugged it off and started walking once Jo and Balthazar joined them and were introduced.

“Benny, you have to cook for us”, Sam asked, and Dean was about to say something when Benny agreed to it with a cheerful laugh.

“Do you have somewhere to stay?”, Dean asked.

“Yeah”, Benny said. “We’re staying with Andrea’s cousin for a few days. Don’t worry, brother”.

Dean nodded and looked away, and Castiel wondered whether he was jealous of this Andrea who Benny was so obviously in love with.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs that led to their house, Benny spotted Dean’s car and snorted, clasping Dean’s shoulder.

“I cannot believe you still have that piece of junk”, he mocked, clearly looking to piss his friend off. It worked. Dean hissed at him and put himself between Benny and the car.

“Don’t mess with my baby, jackass”, he said, and Benny’s smile was one of pure delight. “You know better”.

Jo laughed at them and Balthazar smiled, clearly amused.

“Will your friend be joining us at dinner?”, he asked as they began climbing the stairs, and Benny shook his head.

“Nah, she’s spending the evening with her cousin and her friends”, he answered. “But she commanded me to tell you she says hello, brother”.

Dean nodded and smiled, and Castiel seemed to be the only one to notice that he looked a little bit off. Sam would’ve noticed in normal circumstances, but he was so excited to see Benny that he missed it.

Dinner went well, as Ellen and Jo took to Benny as easily as they’d taken to Dean. Even Bobby seemed to approve of the man, decreasing his grunts to the bare minimum. Jody, Donna and Claire laughed with his stories about running a bar in Lawrence, and Balthazar and Gabriel were joking with him soon enough.

By the time he left, Benny had been accepted by the population of the Madhouse unanimously. 

Still, given how strangely distant—albeit not quiet—Dean had been during dinner, it surprised Castiel to see him on his doorstep later that night.

He didn’t let it show, however, as he leaned on the doorframe and tilted his head, smirking.

“What’s a girl like you doing in a neighborhood like this?”, he asked, and Dean chuckled and shook his head.

“I seem to remember an offer to hang out”, he answered. “Is there a time limit to it?”

Castiel shook his head no and moved to let the other man in. Dean walked in and looked around.

“Gabriel?”, he asked.

“Asleep”, Castiel answered. “Unlikely to wake up until early morning”.

Dean nodded, and Castiel simply had to mock him.

“So, weed and candy?”, he asked, and his heart skipped a beat when amused green eyes looked back at him.

“No, not today”, Dean answered. “How about you smoke one of your cigarettes and I steal some of Gabriel’s junk food?”

“Sounds like a plan”.


	5. The physical inconvenience of wanting to punch a man who lives several states away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5. Beware.

Castiel sat on his bed and lit up his cigarette as Dean settled in one of the beanbag chairs and opened Gabriel’s bag of Twinkies. He fished out one and opened it.

Castiel waited until he was done with it before speaking:

“So, do you wanna talk about it?”, he asked, tone cold as it always was. Dean stared at him for a few seconds and then shook his head.

“I just didn’t want to be alone”, he said.

Castiel could’ve asked him why he wasn’t with Sam and Bobby then, but he decided against him. It was obvious that Dean didn’t want to worry them with whatever was on his mind.

Castiel shook his cigarette over the empty can he used as an ashtray to let the ashes fall, and then took another drag and let the smoke fill his lungs. Oh, the burn.

“Benny’s a nice guy”, he said next, and he saw Dean tense. He decided to take a guess and continued: “How long have you been in love with him?”

Dean’s startled eyes met his, and Castiel raised an eyebrow, unwilling to let this one pass. Dean looked away and cleared his throat before answering:

“I’m not in love with him”.

Castiel chuckled disbelievingly.

“Sure, Green”, he answered, and Dean let out a small smile at the nickname.

“I’m not”, he insisted. “I just…”, he paused, trying to find the words he needed. “I liked him, I guess. He’s a good guy, and he helped me out when I really needed it”, he shrugged. “I guess I had a crush”.

It sure had looked like a lot more than a crush, but Castiel decided not to push it. He also chose to not ask about Dean’s “really needed it” comment, or about what Benny had said about the hospital.

“Are you sure you don’t want to try it?”, he asked instead, offering his cigarette. Dean shook his head and lifted his next Twinkie in response. Castiel shrugged. “Your loss”.

Silence took over for a long time. It wasn’t the kind of uncomfortable silence that prickled one’s skin until it was broken, but the kind that made one want to close their eyes and let themselves be embraced by it. Finally, Dean spoke again:

“You know, my mom always said she would love me no matter what. She died when I was eleven, but I think she wanted me to know that she didn’t care whether I was gay, or bisexual, or something like that”.

Castiel nodded, and gathered from Dean’s eyes that he didn’t want to elaborate on the subject, so he said:

“I never met my own mother, but I like to believe that she wouldn’t have cared, either. Luke says he never heard her say anything homophobic, but he was four when she died, so he’s not very reliable on the matter”.

Dean nodded, somehow understanding that Castiel didn’t want to elaborate, either, and they became silent once more.

“My dad doesn’t approve”, Dean said then, his voice small, and Castiel had the sudden urge to punch a man who lived several states away. He kept quiet, allowing Dean to collect himself before continuing: “He said that wanting men makes me weak. A pussy”.

Castiel nodded, and took another drag of his cigarette. Then, he pointed it at Dean.

“You know that’s utter bullshit, right?”, he asked. Dean looked up at him, unsure. “It is. Wanting who you want has no influence on your character. You can be weak while being straight, just as you can be weak while being gay, or bisexual. Sexuality has nothing to do with inner strength”.

Dean nodded, and that was it. Castiel knew he believed him.

“Your dad’s an asshole”, he added, and Dean stared at him and then chuckled. “What? You said it about my brother, so I can say it about your father”.

Dean smiled and shook his head.

“You’re unbelievable”, he said.

“Sure, Green”, Castiel answered, and Dean’s eyes shone with amusement. Cas was drunk on the feeling of power Dean’s amusement had given him when he added: “And you’re gorgeous”.

Dean froze at the compliment, and then that deep blush Castiel was beginning to really like spread through his cheeks all the way down to his neck. Castiel smiled to himself and put out his cigarette just in time for Dean to get up.

“I should go to bed”, he said. Castiel smirked at him.

“Certainly”, he answered. “It’s a school night, after all”.

Dean chuckled and left the room. Castiel followed him to close the door after he left and watched him walk up the stairs. He truly was a sight to behold, Castiel thought before going back inside.

Apparently, Dean was as much of a nerd as his brother, because when Charlie invited him to play Dungeons and Dragons, he actually said yes and left Castiel alone to deal with Jo and Balthazar. They’d both known him for way too long to not realize that he stared at Dean, so they were drilling him, taking advantage of the fact that Sam was walking back with a new friend who lived near them.

“So, Cassie, are you going to go for it?”, Balthazar asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jo nodded and looked at him, also interested in his answer.

Castiel gave them lazy amusement and a slow smile.

“Why?”, he retorted. “Are you jealous, Bal?”

Balthazar snorted and Jo laughed, patting him a bit too roughly on the back.

“Not really”, Balthazar answered. “It would be very hot to see you two make out, though”.

Jo punched his shoulder and he let out a yelp.

“Don’t be a creep, Bal”, she said, and he smiled and shrugged.

Castiel smiled at them and shook his head. They were complete morons, but he liked them. 

“Bal cannot help himself”, he said, and chuckled at Balthazar’s outraged facade. “He was born to be a horny asshole”.

Balthazar humphed and then smiled, eyes shining as he came up with an answer.

“Yes, yes”, he said. “But at least I don’t deny my crush on one Dean Winchester”.

Castiel grinned and shrugged, not giving Balthazar confirmation or denial, and walked away as Jo laughed and Balthazar cursed at him. 

“You’re a hot mess”, Jo mocked him.

“At least I’m hot”, Balthazar answered, and Castiel turned around just in time to see Jo punching him. He chuckled.

“Just because you can’t appreciate my endless charms doesn’t mean I’m not a beauty. Isn’t that right, Castiel?”, she asks, and Castiel nods and bows in her direction.

“If I wasn’t a raging homosexual, I would be absolutely besotted with you”, he answered, and Jo waved his silliness off even as she smiled.

“You’re a dumbass, that’s what you are”, she said, messing up his hair. Castiel shook his head. It wasn’t like his hair was ever truly in place. His permanent bedhead was a source of amusement for both his friends and his foster siblings.

They arrived at the Madhouse, and they immediately heard Bobby’s voice, angrier than Castiel had ever heard it. He exchanged a glance with Jo, and she ran back down the stairs to distract Sam so he wouldn’t hear Bobby’s yelling.

“No, they’re not, John!”, Bobby was screaming. “They’re better off here, that’s why!” Silence, and then: “Don’t you call him that. Don’t you call him that when he took care of Sam when you were too drunk to! You’re an idjit and a shit father, and you’re not going anywhere near those boys if I have anything to say about it, and I do!”

Castiel looked at Balthazar as they approached the old man. He was sitting on one of the outdoor chairs, Dean’s mobile phone on his hand, and he was red with anger.

“Bobby”, Castiel said, and the man turned to look at him. “Sam is downstairs”.

Bobby nodded, and he seemed to calm down a little. His voice had lost its anger when he spoke again, and the cold that had replaced it was way worse:

“I’m hanging up now, and I’m telling you to stop harassing Dean before we have an actual problem here”.

With that, he hung up, and looked up to Castiel.

“Thank you for the heads up, boy”, he said, and he put away the phone and headed upstairs.

“Who in the Hell was he talking to?”, Balthazar asked, and Castiel shrugged even though he knew the answer. It seemed Dean’s father didn’t inspire anger solely in him. He was glad to see the man defending Dean so fiercely.

Sam and Jo showed up minutes later, and the kid was talking to her about how awesome it was that his friend had read the Iliad and was willing to discuss it with him. When they disappeared upstairs, and Balthazar walked into his house to bother Ellen, Castiel approached Bobby and put a hand on his shoulder. The old man looked up at him and Castiel offered a sympathetic look.

“Shitty parents are universal”, he said, and Bobby chuckled before remembering himself and going back to his usual grumpiness. Still, his voice was soft when he said:

“Those boys deserve better”.

Castiel smiled at him.

“They do have better”, he answered, and Bobby’s eyes softened when he smiled with a feeling close to shyness. 

“Ever had a boyfriend?”, Dean asked him a few nights later, as they sat on Castiel’s beanbag chairs. Castiel was smoking his cigarette, and Dean had just finished one of Gabriel’s cherry lollipops. He was staring at Castiel, clearly waiting for an answer.

Castiel smirked.

“Why? Are you interested?”, he mocked, and Dean looked away, but not before Castiel was able to see red in his cheeks. He decided to take pity on the poor guy and answer: “No. I’ve never been in an actual relationship. I’ve been with men, though. You?”

Dean still wasn’t looking at him when he answered:

“Same. Well, I’ve had girlfriends, but no boyfriends”.

Castiel took a drag of his cigarette and considered the man beside him before asking:

“Have you ever been with a man?”

His voice came out a lot softer than he’d wanted it to, but it made Dean look at him again, so that was a good thing. Dean nodded, slowly, and there was something in his eyes that Castiel did not like at all. Suddenly, Dean’s cheeks reddened again and he looked away once more.

Castiel chuckled.

“What’s that, now?”, he asked. “Are you embarrassed?”

Dean shrugged, and Castiel smirked again, taking another drag of his cigarette. If Dean wanted to tell him, he would. Apparently, he did want to, because he said:

“I’ve never actually kissed a guy”.

He said it quickly, almost whispering, and Castiel immediately wanted to ask how on Earth he’d fucked a man without kissing him. Instead, he decided to mind the spooked look on Dean’s face. He kept smoking for a few seconds, completely unbothered, and then he asked:

“Would you like to?”

Dean’s eyes shot to him, finding his immediately, and Castiel was tempted to laugh at him, but he wanted Dean to know that his offer was serious, so he stayed silent and held the other man’s green gaze. Dean hesitated, and Castiel let him figure things out on his own. Finally, the answer came in a low, but sure, whisper:

“Yes”.

Castiel put out his cigarette on the ashtray he’d left by his chair and kneeled on the floor so he could lean into Dean’s space. Wide, green eyes welcomed him, and Dean bit his lower lip. Smiling, Castiel raised his right hand and cupped his face, using his thumb to pull Dean’s lip free. Dean’s breath quickened with anticipation, his mouth now slightly open, and Castiel pecked his lips for a second and then pulled away, smiling. When Dean smiled back, Castiel leaned in and joined their lips again, this time for a longer time. He caressed Dean’s cheek and traced his closed lips with his tongue. When Dean opened his mouth, Cas pushed in gently and tasted it, coaxing Dean into responding until they were both actively kissing and nervousness was the last thing on their minds.

Finally, Castiel pulled away, biting Dean’s lower lip softly, and then kissed the corner of his mouth. Smiling, he sat back down on his chair and watched Dean lick his lips and open his eyes, appearing a bit dazed.

“So?”, he asked, and Dean focused on him again. “How was it?”

Dean smirked.

“You taste like smoke”, he joked, and Castiel chuckled. So that was what he was going for, huh?

“Well, you taste like cherry”, he countered, and Dean smiled and held up his hands.

“That’s Gabriel’s fault”, he said.

Castiel smirked and got up to walk up to his bed and take out his own favorite candy—strawberry—from under his pillow, where he usually hid it from his brother. He put one in his mouth and turned to grin at Dean.

“How you can like strawberry when cherry is also a flavor is beyond me”, Dean said, shaking his head, and Castiel shrugged.

“I’m not a psychopath”, he answered, and Dean put a hand above his heart like he was offended. Castiel went back to his chair, stopping before Dean’s to kiss his forehead before sitting back down. He was glad to see Dean look distracted for a second.

“I may be a psychopath”, he finally answered. “But at least I’m not a stoner”

Castiel chuckled softly and ate another piece of candy.

“Sure, gorgeous”, he answered.


End file.
